Happy Dr. Seuss Day!

Posted by jennheffer

Mar 1

“IT’S DUE, my poster, it’s Dr. Seuss week, you knew”

So I draw, there’s a flaw, is that a paw or a claw?

It’s Yertle! He’s a turtle, not a girdle on a hurdle…

I wake, and I bake, and I cake,

and I decorate..

I dress, I’m a mess, no time to impress…

Its true, here’s a clue, my fingers are blue

I’m late, what’s the date, but wait, no time to exaggerate

I gotta run, gotta go, can’t miss all the fun

two places to be, but only one of me

The stuff is ready, the kid is done, his hair is blue, “KEEP THE CAKE STEADY”

Off the floor, out the door, I know I’m a bore,

It’s my last Dr. Seuss poem, I’ve got no more….

Happy Dr. Seuss Day! As my kids are getting older, I am sure this is the last time we will have a school function for me to have fun with.

Make’s me sad!

See my previous entries here:

We did it again, oh yes we did…

We Seussed up our day…did you?

1 Comment

Filed under: Poems

Snowboarding…always an adventure!

Posted by jennheffer

Feb 28

It was basically my first time. I’m a TOTAL newbie. The only other time I have ever put on a snowboard, it was SOOO long ago that I can’t remember if I even made it off the bunny hill.

HOWEVER.

I’m NOT that girl. The whiny one. The one who says “I CAN’T”.

Nope. I TRY so hard NOT to be that girl that I often FAIL to an EXTREME degree.

So, we DO this. We cruise up to the mountain to have an EPIC day of snowboarding. It’s me, my hubs, and our BFF’s Nicolle & Aaron.

We arrive at the ski park at 2pm. The ski park closed at 4pm.

The guys would have had to rent equipment and pay for lift tickets…so they opted out. This left me and Nicolle on our own.

There was no turning back now. First up, the bunny hill. Now, I can safely state that I ROCKED the bunny hill.

I know, I KNOW….I have ALREADY been yelled at for this picture….I promise, I didn’t have my weight on my back foot the whole time…I had basically JUST stood up for the first time here… It’s the ONLY pic of me in action!

We gave the bunny hill 2 good runs. Well…”we” is slightly inaccurate… Nicolle, who knows how to snowboard, but hasn’t been in many years, was having a bit of trouble with that testy rope tow.

Well….Go big or go home…right!?!?! Up the lift we gooooo….

The first run was a success. Minor falls. Lot’s of stops. Made it to the bottom, fairly unharmed.

AGAIN….AGAIN…. Feeling a bit proud and able to “do this”…we head up again, this time, using the lift time to take pics!

Shortly after this pic was taken by Nicolle, I pulled out my phone….

SOMETHING FELL OUT OF MY POCKET!!! OFF THE CHAIR LIFT!! FLOATING TO THE GROUND BELOW…..

MY ID!!

My license was now sitting in a pile of snow directly below the ski lift. Somewhere between the top of the lift and the bottom of the lift. Somewhere….

Well…that’s inconvenient….

Let me remind you, I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO SNOWBOARD, therefore, I am NOT even close to being able to NAVIGATE to a tricky location in order to locate my ID.

Well CRAP.

So, we sit at the top of the hill, trying to map out our route. We ask the 12 year old boys, who clearly have been snowboarding since birth if they are willing to go get it for me, since they watched the whole thing from the chair behind us….but they straight up told us they were trying to impress a group of girls, so they couldn’t.

So. I will spare you the long story. Although funny…here is the ending.

My snowboard ended up in a tree. Not connected to my feet. I found my ID. I had to walk halfway down the mountain. Nicolle had to climb into the tree to retrieve my board and then met me at the bottom of the hill with my board.

I can safely say, a few of “my moves” during that whole sequence of events weren’t well thought out.

But, you should also know, that wasn’t the end of our day. We went up the lift again, took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up on the Freestyle run. Again, I DON’T KNOW HOW TO SNOWBOARD.

BUT I HAVE VIDEO….of Nicolle! Click the link below!

Nicolle rockin the jump!

We made it down that run, again, fairly unharmed. Unless you count our stomachs hurting from SO MUCH LAUGHTER.

We got one more run in before the mountain closed. I actually had the snow patrol following me down on my last run. It was embarrassing. I even got stuck and he had to pull me up and push me until I got going again. Did I mention how embarrassing this was??

So, the day after blues….I’m sore. Everything from my neck down hurts. Especially my tailbone area (aka BUTT) and my knees. Oh, the bruises are amazing.

Oh, also, my ribs. You might wonder WHY my ribs are bruised…..

Do all ski pants go up to your ribs? Or are these just “special”? The zipper on these bad boys is at least 7 inches long. When I bend over, my ribs actually rest on top of the pants. After a few hours of this, my ribs were bruised.

I can’t wait to do it all again!

2 Comments

Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged as: beginner, newbie, snowboard, snowboarding

Guest Post: 5 Essential Safety Tips for Parents

Posted by jennheffer

Jan 31

The number one goal of every parent is to keep their children safe. That involves identifying the potential threats that lie not only outside the confines of your home, but inside as well. The following tips will help make your home a safer place for your children:

Install a home security system

Every home should have a home security system, particularly ones with small children. Many home security providers offer around-the-clock monitoring for a pretty decent price. Check out www.homessecurity.com to see how you can take advantage of an ADT Monitored Home Security System for around $9 per week.

Keep medicines/dangerous household chemicals out of reach

More than 60,000 children visit the emergency room every year due to accidental medication poisoning. If you have young kids, you should be extra vigilant about stowing away medications and any other potentially toxic household chemicals. This includes antifreeze, paint thinner and ammonia-based cleaning products.

Instill smart safety habits

As a parent, the day will inevitably come where you won’t always be there to look over your son or daughter’s shoulder. It’s never too early to start teaching them how to recognize and respond to potentially dangerous situations. Encourage young children to always avoid talking to strangers, and set boundaries about where they can go, who they can see and what they can do. Tell them to always use the “buddy system” and to trust their instincts. These are habits that they will not only carry with them for the rest of their lives, but also pass along to their children one day.

Secure windows and blinds

Every year, approximately eight children age 5 and under die from falling out windows in the U.S., and more than 3,000 are injured, according to the Consumer Product Safety Commission. Fortunately, such accidents can easily be prevented by installing safety netting on all your windows. It’s also a good idea to purchase window blind cord wraps, which cost no more than a few bucks at your local Wal-Mart. This way, you can safety stow blind cords – a strangulation hazard – out of the reach of curious children.

Keep the kitchen safe

The kitchen can be a minefield of hazards for young children. Make sure to use a stove guard to prevent your child from suffering scalds or burns from touching a hot stovetop. Store all electronic appliances out of reach, and make sure there are no flammable objects, such as curtains, oven mitts and towels, near the stove. Finally, never leave a young child or burning stove unattended in the kitchen.

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Filed under: Parenting, Turning this OLD house into OUR HOME | Tagged as: children, home security, Parenting, safety, safety tips, tips

The Great Stairway Makeover of 2012

Posted by jennheffer

Jan 16

It’s been a while since I’ve done a home improvement post. It’s probably because my home hasn’t really improved in a while. It’s a bit stagnant. Like the scary pool when we moved in. Stagnant. Remember what that looked like? Click here for a little reminder…..

One evening I was going through old photos. I decided it’s silly to only hang the newest, latest, greatest photos. I have some fabulous pics of the kids when they were babies and I was an actual heifer, errr….heffer… I have family photos from eons ago that belong on my walls. I also have all these walls with NOTHING on them.

Solution: Put pictures on walls.

Problem: All my old frames are from other houses with the color matching the wood in each house…oak or maple mostly.

Our current house, mostly old and moldy, doesn’t really have a “color” associated with it. I have however, painted many of the walls, mostly tan/brownish tones. Oh, and I painted the front door red. And I have painted most of the trim white.

So, in my garage, I have a plethora of paint.

***IDEA!!!***

I dug out all the frames, and went wild. I painted about 30 frames a variety of colors, all from the leftover wall paint.

I was so excited to have all these fun frames that now matched this house perfectly. I decided I was putting them all up in this massive collage type setting. I was torn on the location until I glanced at my UGLY barren stairway. PERFECT!!!

Then I glanced at the UGLY BARREN stairway again. EWWW.

I have avoided this area for a reason.

DIR – TAY.

The walls were scraped and scuffed. The paint was old and dirty. The handrails were gross and 80′s…. UGLY.

This then naturally led to a complete stairway makeover. I had to borrow one of those fancy ladders that bend and fold and twist all about in order to accomplish this.

I also had ALWAYS wanted to write on the back wall of the stairway.

Though it is not complete, take a look at the transformation.

Old (from waaayyy back):

Dark green walls, old brown handrails

NEW:

This is now such a fun central focus of the house. You can see this hallway from so many places in the house.

I love it. I can’t believe I waited so long to do it.

I am not completely done with the writing on the wall, but it’s a good start! In case you are wondering, I used chalk to lightly draw lines, then write the words. Fruit of the Spirit yo!

By the way, the red I used on the back wall is called California Cabernet. How AWESOME is that!

2 Comments

Filed under: Crafty, Our Home, Turning this OLD house into OUR HOME | Tagged as: diy, frames, Fruit of the Spirit, hallway, home improvement, Paint, Painting, photos, pictures, stairway, walls

Birthday Week: Post 2, The Simple and The Awesome

Posted by jennheffer

Jan 9

The Simple.

I painted my nails.

I NEVER paint my nails. My nails are like tools. I open things, I scrape things, I poke things…they are handy. Like having my own little Swiss Army Knife with me at all times.

The husband says I look more like a girl when I paint them though. I even added glitter. It’s like a party on my fingertips.

The Awesome.

Banana Cream Pie.

It is NO secret that I LOOOVVEEEE banana cream pie. So, I bought myself one.

It’s my birthday week.

No, I did not eat all that pie. Those other people in my house keep eating it.

1 Comment

Filed under: About Me | Tagged as: Banana Cream Pie, birthday, birthday week, nails, painted nails

Birthday week: Post 1, Sleep and sushi ~FAVS~

Posted by jennheffer

Jan 8

This, is my morning coffee. It’s also 11:45am. I JUST WOKE UP.

The kids went back to school today. I went back to bed.

I crawled out of bed around 6:45am to oversee the whole breakfast, lunches thing, hugged and kissed them and gently shoved them out the door in a super loving fashion to catch the bus.

I’m tired and unemployed, so I crawled back in bed around 7:15am.

Now I am drinking my coffee at noon and the kids get out of school in only 2 hours. Oops.

I LOVE SLEEP.

And….It’s my birthday week, so I really can do whatever I want. And make whatever I want for dinner.

Last night I was trying to combine 2 of my favorites to start out the week right. We only made it to the appetizers because it was BY FAR the BEST sushi I have EVER made at home.

Shrimp & Avocado Hand Rolls with Spicy Mayo

So easy!

I sliced up carrots, cucumbers, avocado. Made rice, which I can never find short grain sushi rice, so I just used a long grain and tossed it with a little rice vinegar.

Mix up the most amazing Spicy Mayo ever from my very good friend Marissa’s blog. I linked her recipe for Shrimp, Melon and Cucumber Salad with Spicy Mayo and that whole salad is divine. But, in this case, I only needed the mayo!

Lay the Nori (dried seaweed) out, place rice on first, layer other items & drizzle with spicy mayo, as seen below:

Roll her up and you got yourself a heavenly little treat.

I couldn’t make them fast enough. The kids ate more than I did!

Tonight we get to enjoy what was supposed to be last nights main course. Teriyaki Chicken w/ Broccoli over rice. It will be delicious too.

Cheers!

2 Comments

Filed under: Kids, Recipies | Tagged as: coffee, hand rolls, school, sleep, sushi

Gettin Crafty! A gift EVERYONE can use!

Posted by jennheffer

Jan 4

Ok, maybe everyone is an over-statement…

How bout this, anyone with a few kids and maybe a few kids with kids. Or someone with like 12 sisters and/or brothers. No really.

I saw this pic on the famous Pinterest (ya, I mess around on there once in a while – Jenn Parke if ya want to follow my boards or whatever). I am TERRIBLE at following directions, so I often look at pictures and then figure out how to do it by looking at it.

Saw this. Pinned it. Then screen shot it and went shopping.

From Michael’s, I purchased a 14″x4″ blank wall plaque ($3.99) and 2 packages of the little round wooden discs (3.49 each). From Ace Hardware, I purchased a 14 piece package of little silver eye screws (2.29) and a spool of wire (3.99).

I really wanted silver little S hooks, but those little guys are actually quite pricey, and I was considering making quite a few of these….

From Walmart, I purchased a can of Khaki colored spray pain ($3.00).

Total: $17.25, or $20.25 if I include the paint, which isn’t really fair because it will be used for MANY other things…..

I posted a pic of the finished project on Instagram (yep, I’m there too…) and people were all sorts of interested in HOW I DID IT! I went back to the original pic I found on Pinterest and the link no longer works…so I how no way to point people to it! So I thought…hey, I can at least tell people how I made it!

Step 1: Lay all the materials out and paint. Let dry.

Step 2: Apply a second coat. Let dry.

Step 3: Measure center and draw light pencil line for FAMILY text. Sponge paint the word FAMILY in all caps in center of plaque.

I already had 2 inch letter stencils, so I used those. I also had a deep red paint and used an old sponge to paint the letters with.

Step 4: Once the FAMILY was painted and dry, I drew another light line in the center of that and free-hand wrote birthdays with a black permanent marker.

Step 5: Measure out and make center marks for the 12 months. Abbreviate each month above the center mark. This is the step I was least pleased with, and that was because of the plaque I chose. Because it had raised sides, I was unable to use a stencil or even write in a nice, fun font….

Step 6: Screw in the eye thingys under each month. (I enlisted the help of my darling hubs for this job)

Step 7: Write the names and days of birth of each family member on a wooden disc.

Step 8: Drill a small hole at the top and bottom of each disc. Big enough for the wire (or hook) to go through.

Step 9: Assemble and viola!

The Happy Couple and their new family birthday chart! I think they like it!

3 Comments

Filed under: Crafty, Family | Tagged as: birthday, calendar, chart, Craft, diy, family, plaque

Cheers to a Fantastic NEW YEAR! And stuff.

Posted by jennheffer

Jan 1

So, I kinda lost my groove on the whole blogging thing last year (2012). I have no idea if I have it back. I don’t really feel like it. But, I did get a giggle going over my top posts from 2012.

The busiest day on my blog was on Jul 24th, and it went to my first ever giveaway post (Road trip, snacking, naked fruit and MY FIRST EVER GIVEAWAY!!!), that was kind of a big deal. Turns out, to this day, it has been my ONLY ever giveaway. I’m such a stud!

The post with the most views went to one of my FAVS (I can’t put a title on this mess…) simply because it is so appropriately ‘me‘.

I also got a kick out of my top 5 most active commenters. Seriously friends, this is HUGE. First, people don’t read my blog. Second, nobody really enjoys commenting if it causes any more work than saying “that was funny…”. Third, a third item isn’t even necessary.

On that note, a HUGE thank you to my top 5. You ROCK.

With all that said…. SMOOOOCHES to you and your loved ones. Here’s to a FABULOUS 2013.

Ooops, I meant to insert the one below…. *muahahah*

Or did I!?!?!

3 Comments

Filed under: Blogging, Giveaways | Tagged as: 2012, 2013, blogger, Blogging, happy new year, top of 2012

Sweet tooth FAIL

Posted by jennheffer

Sep 14

It’s not fair to keep this story to myself.

I made that decision.

A couple days ago a IG friend (@janinenickel) posted this on Instagram:

I advised her to “Never EVER say no to carrot cake!!!”

Her response was great. And true. Especially true about carrot cake.

I triple heart carrot cake.

So, since then I have been CRAVING carrot cake with a certain intensity that shouldn’t be allowed…..

I blame it on my passion.

So, I decided enough was enough. I am always goofing off in the kitchen. It was high time I made that dang carrot cake to quench my craving.

I google carrot cake recipes, skim through a couple of them, find one that meets my requirements, in other words, I have all the ingredients for.

I whip up the batter. Notice the pre-heat temp is only 300 degrees. I was thinking that was kind of cool, but didn’t pay much attention to it.

I put the cake in the oven and took a gander at the bake time. 1 hour. Holy moly, that’s a long time for a cake.

Oh well…..

*waiting patiently*

I pull the cake out and put it on a rack to cool.

I take another gander at the recipe. Cool for 1 hour….but that wasn’t all…..

AND THEN FLIP UPSIDE DOWN AND PLACE ON RACK IN A CUPBOARD FOR 24 HOURS.

WHAT?

SHUT UP!

I want to eat this cake RIGHT NOW.

Not a day from now.

I could have ignored the rules. I could have defied them.

But, in the end, I am a rule follower.

There it is, second shelf down, just hanging out in my pantry.

*no longer patiently waiting. now I am just mad*

The next evening, after a chaotic day, I am finally able to frost the beast.

Then I refrigerate it for a bit. But since my patience has been wrung DRY, it only lasts in the fridge about 10 minutes.

OH. MY. HEAVENS.

GLORIOUS. FABULOUS. HEAVENLY. MOUTH WATERING HAPPINESS.

Worth.

The.

Wait.

*my patience totally disagrees*

Click here for the recipe for any of you who might want to try this at home.

Ya, I realize it says right at the top that the total time is 25 hours, 35 minutes…but who really reads that stuff?

0 Comments

Filed under: Recipies | Tagged as: carrot cake, cooking, craving, recipe fail

Hide yo 10 year olds….

Posted by jennheffer

Aug 30

Seriously.

10 year olds.

I HAD NO IDEA IT ALL STARTS IN 5TH GRADE.

He likes her, but she like’s a different boy, but his friend said he heard that she told her other friend that she did like him…

UGH.

I get a text from a sweet friend, “Did you hear about the conversation the kids had today?” (kids being her super smart, driven, sweet son and my daughter)

I respond “Oh crap. NO”

She says “call me…”

IT IS HAPPENING.

He likes her as more than a friend, she likes him too but also thinks she likes someone else but doesn’t really know what it even means to “like” someone. But apparently, being appointed as Queen Hula Hooper of the girls team in their “Hula Hooping Club” is a big deal.

Ya, it makes no sense to me either. But if you try to listen to the explanation of a 10 year old, that’s about how the conversation goes.

So, after the incredibly awkward ‘who likes who’ conversation and the repeated “YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE A BOYFRIEND” chat, we settle into our post school/homework and evening schedule. The kids have a bit of down time before we have to run to a meeting and they choose to play Xbox for a bit.

Well, I am guessing that being smart, cute and witty is a pretty big plus in the 10yo girl world BUT, adding Halo player just makes the boys go crazy.

C. R. A. Z. Y.

My kids (10 & 8) get on Xbox Live, (only allowed to play Live with our good friends/neighbors) and start playing with a friend. Well, that friend happened to have 3 other 10yo boys from school over.

I was listening to all the silly chatter and giggling, yes, from the boys and it was HILARIOUS. The audio was working but they couldn’t hear us, so all we were hearing was them “I can’t hear her. She’s not there. Maybe she can’t hear us. Is she there? Should we call her? Maybe she is calling us?”

After the technical difficulties were worked out…I hear the battling of questions regarding the game…

‘Why did you kill me? Who has the sword? Who is the juggernaut? No, that’s me, don’t kill me…’

After a while, the boys had to stop playing. Shortly after that, the doorbell rings. 2 of those boys wanted to ‘say hi’.

I answer the door.

CUTEST BOYS EVER in their football gear. “Hi, is Lexi here”

Lexi: “Hi”

Boys: “Hi”

Lexi: Silence

Boys: Silence

Me: “So, you on your way to football practice?”

Boys: “ya”

Me: “awesome”

Boys: “ya, we just wanted to say hi”

Lexi: “Hi”

Silence….all around

Me: “Well, nice to see you boys, have fun at football”

Boy: “ok, bye”

As they are walking off the porch, one boy giggles to the other saying “I didn’t know what to say”

See the top right window? Can you picture the fairy tale conversations taking place at night?

Now….where should we put the 10ft tall prison style barbed wire fence?

Hide Yo 10 Year Olds!

0 Comments

Filed under: Kids, Parenting | Tagged as: 10yo, 5th grade, boys, crush, girls

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The Mr. & Mrs. Heffer

Does this sidebar make my butt look big?

I'm Jenn, but all my life my dad called me Heffer. I believe it started when I was a baby and my older brother tried to pronounce Jennifer. My dad passed away in August of 2010 from Pancreatic Cancer. Therefore, Heffer is for him! I wish I could still hear him calling me that!

I'm a sucker for a good latte, Apple products, sassy shoes, the bible & the FUNNY. I don't do drama...but...according to Sir Mix A Lot, I have a big butt.