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Archive for the ‘ Cancer ’ Category

You know, the world where we PRETEND everything is ok.  The place where rainbows and butterflies are everywhere, and skittles really do fall from the sky.  The place where the colors are brighter and the people are nicer.  The place where we are safe. Also, side note, my hair is a thick, long shiny golden blond & my teeth are perfect.

In this place my Mother-In-Law, whom I would rather just call my 2nd mom is running around, playing with all the kids.  She was a fabulous person to just sit and talk to, but she LOVED her grand babies more than words can portray.  She wanted begged to babysit, just so she could have time with the kids.  Grammy Kay is in my Fairytale Land.

Also in Fairytale Land, my daddy doesn’t have cancer.  He is happy.  He is healthy.  He is still working toward his goal of early retirement and seeking that perfect fishing boat.  He dreams of the vacations we will all go on together, to Mexico, to Hawaii, and of course that cruise we have all been talking about.  He isn’t being told by doctors that chemo isn’t working and that he has weeks left to live.

Fairytale Land of course is a place where my Brother-In-Law is “happy, healthy & safe”, a term he has used for YEARS with all the cousins together.  He doesn’t have cancer.  He is still playing paintball with his older kids and riding quads with the younger kids.  He’s organizing the pranks and making sure all the adults remember how to have fun.

In Fairytale Land, there is no cancer.  I like it here.

A lot.

As I sit here, my heart is broken.  I can do nothing.  I should be crying profusely, but I’m not.

I sit in California, my father, my daddy, is sitting in a hospital bed in Florida.  He went in for a high fever.  Because he is fighting cancer, a fever is very dangerous.  He has to get a CT Scan, an Ultrasound as well as blood tests.  So I wait.

Here locally the Dr just ordered my Mother-in-Law, Grammy Kay, to head straight into the hospital.  She was basically admitted into the hospital over the phone.  She has to get an MRI.  She has too much pain.  Her back, her spine, her neck, sometimes her head….she shouldn’t have all this pain.  She too is fighting cancer.  We were just told last week that her Chemotherapy …IS….NOT…. working.  So I wait.

Neither parent is done fighting.  I told each parent this is all precautionary.  These hospital visits are simply to help them fight better and longer.  Please Lord let me be right.

I’m not crying because He is in control.  I can do nothing.

“With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”  Matthew 19:26

I’m going a little crazy here…so I decided to write a little song for ya, well, it’s for us all!!!

*I expect to be accompanied by a banjo, harmonica….and a pair of knee slapping hillbillies.  Alright….Here we go!

Weeeeeelllllll, I woke up this mornin to a normal day,
had lunch with friends the Applebees way
Gotta call from momma sayin dads in the ER
He’s got spots all over and they think it’s cancer.

*don’t cry…it’s a country song*

I kissed the husband and the kids, flew across the US
It’s been 3 months and my lifes a mess
My fam flew here but our stuff went Weeesssstttt…..
You see, we’re supposed to move there cuz it’s for the best

Oh Florida, oh Florida….where I spend each and every day
Oh Florida, oh Florida….so much to do….if your rich and can afford to

Mom and dad are in the mobile, we’re sleepin next door
It’s like upscale campin on beds, not the floor
We’re here in Polk City, the lightening Capitol of the world
And of course it’s storm season which makes me wanna hurl

My skins a new shade but it’s a new texture too
A little hot and sticky but the blisters are a few
We got the pool from Walmart, parked in the front yard
It’s a picture that should really be on a postcard

Oh Florida, oh Florida….where I spend each and every day
Whether at home, with Mickey or by the Bay
Oh Florida, oh Florida….so much to do….if your rich and can afford to

We’ve been to all the parks and seen alligators too
We’ve eatin fresh fish and stayed in hotels with a view
We’ve grown webbed feet from the pools and beach,
We’ve even had sand stuck in places we can’t reach

My dads much better so we can’t stay long
We got the plane tickets which brings an end to my song
And while we wait you can hear from me from…..
Twitter, Facebook or

Cancer. Our situation in a Nutshell.

Cancer friggin SUCKS.

We receive the news that Bryan’s (from here on out referred to as Bry) mom (who lives in California) has a mass in her lung. Cancerous.

January 09 – THEY SUCCESSFULLY REMOVE it.  We feel a huge amount of relief.

February 09 – Bry’s brother Troy (who also lives in California) has an incredible amount of back pain, eventually unable to even walk.  They diagnose him with multiple meyloma cancer.  This cancer is in the plasma cells, which means in the bones.  He had the bones of a ninety year old man.  After a long and painful trip to California, we feel the need to move away from our friends, church, school, home…our comfort zone in Idaho and move back to California.  We wait.

We decide its a go, after Lexi (child #1, in order by birth) gets out of school in June.  We make it through March.

April 09 – my dad (who lives in Florida) is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, stage 4. Already spread to his liver and lungs.  Prognosis:  poor.  I get on an airplane that same day.  Bry is home with the kids.  I wait for further testing and results.  We decide we need to be here (now being Florida) with my mom and dad.  Bry and friends pack our entire house up, put the furniture and boxes in a semi truck that delivers our material lives to California. Bry and the kids get on a plane, meet me here in Florida three and a half weeks later.  Thats a long time to be away from your spouse & kids!  We begin our temporary lives here, including chemotherapy.

May 09 - Bry’s moms cancer spread.  Now it is in her liver.  Prognosis:  poor.  Bry gets on an airplane and flys to California.  He spends mothers day by his moms side.  He is still there.

Cancer’s invading our lives, starting with those whom live on opposite sides of the country.

So we pray.  And we wait.  We serve those who need serving.

FYI – in case you were wondering child # 2 is Brayden.  He’s awesome!