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TRUE STORY. Each. and. Every. Word.

So dads been actin a little crazy today, even crazier than he was yesterday. Very nervous, insecure, in pain and afraid. I feel for him. I really do. None of us could ever understand what it would be like to be told you might have another week left to live.

So he is scared. He starts talking crazy, like after 36 years he is done being married to my mom. She sticks by him and takes great care of him through all this and now HE is done! Whatever!

He believes my mom is “involved” with every man who looks her direction. Eeeeew! Men around here have no teeth!!!

So, mom has a little discussion with his cancer doctor and the nurses. They say they don’t like what they are hearing. They think we are in danger.

So….THEY call and say the SHERIFF is on his way and we better not fight them. OMG. What? Dads a complete basket case, and the cops are coming?

We panic. I tell my dad… THEY’RE COMING!


Panic some more. Dad says let’s go. He gets in a car.

I HEAR sirens.

Mom can’t find keys. The dog gets out. The gate needs to be opened.

I see the sheriff. He’s coming.

I move another car around to the front. I drive to the gate. I push my sick and mentally unstable dad in the back seat. I jump out of the drivers seat because I AM NOT harboring a fugitive…or whatever this would be called.

I open the gate. Mom jumps in the drivers seat.

She drives at light speed to ESCAPE! I stay at the house. I wait. Seriously, I’m ready for the cops to come down the driveway. I’m gonna have a nice talk with them. My sisters boyfriend (or ex as I am told) calls his dad. He’s a cop. He asks his dad if we broke any laws. I am a little nervous about breaking laws. Not really my thing. His dad says in Texas, we haven’t broken any laws. Well, that’s better than nothing…except we’re NOT IN TEXAS!

My mom calls and asks if the cops came yet. I say not yet, 2 Sheriff cars flew by but they haven’t been back by the driveway.

After my mom drives in circles for about 30 minutes, she calls back. The Sheriff CALLED her…..and SHE ANSWERED! Hahahaha! Who answers the PHONE when your running from the cops????

OMG! What a riot. So, my mom tells the cops that the doctor wants to send my dad to the hospital that almost killed him, twice. She doesn’t want him at that hospital. The cop AGREES with her and says the doctor is crazy.

Oh, you might be wondering WHY the cops called her cell phone…….BECAUSE……..


Thank goodness there wasn’t a REAL emergency, we would still be waiting for those cops to find the house.

My dad has always been the strong one.  The one who could fix anything, and I mean anything.  As I was growing up he collected old Cadillacs.  He would rebuild the engines, sometimes restore the interior and then would re-sell the car and make some cash.  We never had less than 65 or so cars on our property.  Out of all these cars, only a handful were drivable.  They all needed something.  But they were ALL special to him.  He even named them.  He called them his savings accounts.  He knew that even when he had NO money, he had these cars and he knew than in a bind, he could get money fast.  I always dreamed of restoring an old car with him and keeping it forever.

He always had BIG dreams.  He wanted to retire early to fish for the rest of his life.  So when he was almost 60, he talked my mom into moving to Florida.  The rest of the family was in Idaho, but he was determined to get warm and close to the part of the ocean he wanted to fish in.  He went to Marine Mechanics school and graduated at the top of his class.  He toyed with becoming a fishing guide.  My mom got a job at Disney World to pay the bills while my dad was in school.  After my dads schooling, he got a job at Sea World.  They never made it to the water.  They got comfortable.  Its been 5 years and they are still in the Orlando area…and miserable.

But worse…dad started getting sick.  He started loosing weight so fast and had no desire to eat.  Doctor said it was his gall bladder.  They scheduled to remove it but when my dad couldn’t even get out of bed because he was in so much pain, my mom took him to the emergency room.  That’s when they found the spots.  On his pancreas.  And his liver.  And…his lungs.  Just the month before my brother-in-law was diagnosed with Multiple Meyloma (cancer of the stem cells) and my mother-in-law was diagnosed with Lung Cancer in January.

Its been 8 months since he was diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer, metastasized to his liver and lungs and its been hard.  We (me, my husband and our 2 kids) moved to Florida to be with my dad.  Then as he was recovering and my husbands mom was getting worse, we moved to California to be with my MIL.  We stood by her side as she fought a loosing battle.  She was strong, but the cancer was stronger.  She passed away on September 1st.  She will be GREATLY missed.  She was a legendary woman.

Through my dad’s roller-coaster ride of chemo, hospitalizations and the regular pharmacy that is on the  kitchen counter that consists of his hourly medicines, we have watched him battle and do well.  He has amazed the doctors.  Pancreatic Cancer is the most “lethal” cancer.  It is detected so late that there is only a 4% survival rate.  His original prognosis was 6 months to a year.

His dreams have changed.  He just wants my mom by his side at ALL times.  She had to quit her job to be with him.  How do you handle this when you still have bills to pay.

Its been 8 months.

My mom can’t do this alone.  I flew back to FL to help.  I convinced them that we want to help and care for them both, but we have to do it in California.  That is where the rest of the family is.  So we are in the middle of a massive liquidation sell.  Everything must go.  Our time is short.

And now I am seeing the signs I don’t want to see.  Dad is falling asleep in the middle of meals.  Even if we are at a restaurant.  Mid-bite he falls into a deep unconscious state.

He is confused.  As he is staring at my feet while I was driving him to the doctor this morning he asks me where the dog is.  As if I had the dog the size of a small horse down by my feet.  He’s confused and I’m getting scared.

I am not ready to watch him fade away and the cancer take over his body.  I need my husband by my side to help me.  I need to be back in California where we will be surrounded by support and people who truly understand.  I need a shoulder.  And if I need this support, love and personal touch so bad, I can NOT even imagine how bad my mom needs it.

We don’t have much time left and I’m scared.

Cancer. Our situation in a Nutshell.

Cancer friggin SUCKS.

We receive the news that Bryan’s (from here on out referred to as Bry) mom (who lives in California) has a mass in her lung. Cancerous.

January 09 – THEY SUCCESSFULLY REMOVE it.  We feel a huge amount of relief.

February 09 – Bry’s brother Troy (who also lives in California) has an incredible amount of back pain, eventually unable to even walk.  They diagnose him with multiple meyloma cancer.  This cancer is in the plasma cells, which means in the bones.  He had the bones of a ninety year old man.  After a long and painful trip to California, we feel the need to move away from our friends, church, school, home…our comfort zone in Idaho and move back to California.  We wait.

We decide its a go, after Lexi (child #1, in order by birth) gets out of school in June.  We make it through March.

April 09 – my dad (who lives in Florida) is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, stage 4. Already spread to his liver and lungs. Prognosis:  poor.  I get on an airplane that same day.  Bry is home with the kids.  I wait for further testing and results.  We decide we need to be here (now being Florida) with my mom and dad.  Bry and friends pack our entire house up, put the furniture and boxes in a semi truck that delivers our material lives to California. Bry and the kids get on a plane, meet me here in Florida three and a half weeks later.  Thats a long time to be away from your spouse & kids!  We begin our temporary lives here, including chemotherapy that is also used for brain cancer treatment.

May 09 - Bry’s moms cancer spread.  Now it is in her liver.  Prognosis:  poor.  Bry gets on an airplane and flys to California.  He spends mothers day by his moms side.  He is still there.

Cancer’s invading our lives, starting with those whom live on opposite sides of the country.

So we pray.  And we wait.  We serve those who need serving.

FYI – in case you were wondering child # 2 is Brayden.  He’s awesome!